Zabenthung Dominic

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
(NRSV 1 Cor. 13: 4-8)

Love has been a popular topic for philosophers, poets, playwrights, and scientists for decades, and different people and groups have often disagreed about its definition. Basically Love is, ‘the willingness to value another’s well-being or pleasure above your own.’ Imperfect is the antithesis of perfect. The word imperfect originates from the Latin ‘imperfectus’, which means “incomplete.”

Love is the epitome of perfection. Love is a joyful experience. Happiness is Love. Bliss is Love. All you can think and fantasise about all the good in the world is Love. But, what does Love entail? How can one find or experience Love? What are the prerequisites for forming a Love-based relationship? Yes, here is where the dichotomy exists.

We are all born with a natural need to find meaning and purpose in our lives. This quest for meaning and purpose eventually leads to Love and happiness, albeit it is not without challenges. In some ways, Love can be found in a willingness to accept flaws. This is because you learn to Love by learning to perceive an imperfect person perfectly, not by finding a flawless person. It also entails being pragmatic and living outside of the perfect world of fantasy, because that utopian state of unconditional Love and idealisation does not exist.

Allowing Love to coexist with imperfection necessitates accepting one’s neighbours for who they are, not what they should be. It implies falling in Love with differences and loving coincidences. You will Love everything about someone you Love, including their smile, temper issues, limitations, dreams, wishes, and hopes.

According to Pope Francis, “Love coexists with imperfection. It bears all things and can hold its peace before the limitations of the loved one.” However, we all know that in a community, society, or even a family, living with other people’s flaws might be the most difficult thing we can confront. How are we expected to find true love when others can be so annoying and can’t even help with the most basic of tasks?

In order to experience the joy of love, we must consider each person as an unfinished object that needs to mature, a work in progress. Because love widens our eyes and allows us to view others’ flaws in a larger context, we may recognise that all flaws are part of a larger picture. The other person is far more than the sum of your minor irritations.

To allow love and imperfections to exist harmoniously we must engage in genuine discourse with one another, which takes time, quality time. Time to listen to what others have to say, which necessitates an inner silence that allows you to listen without jumping to a conclusion or offering an opinion. Others simply want to be heard, to know that their anguish, their anxiety, and their suffering have been acknowledged.
Because when we see others through the eyes of love, which recognises that we are all a complicated mix of light and shadows, we can see that our love, despite its flaws and imperfections, continues to bring joy to the world today.

When we Love and be Loved, imperfection coexists with Love. Tenderness, melodies, faith, truthfulness, valour, you, and ‘I am happy if you are’ can all be found there. The heart can listen to its favourite music wherever there is Love.